Supporting veterans puts principles over politics.
Virginia has long prided itself on being the most veteran-friendly state in the nation. Yet, in the past year, we have seen how fragile that promise can be. When the Virginia Military Survivors and Dependents Education Program (VMSDEP) was suddenly pulled into a budget debate, families who had built their lives around that commitment were left panicked and blindsided. It should have been a wake-up call, not just about one program, but about how vulnerable much of our veteran and family policy becomes when politics enters the room.
That instability revealed something deeper: In Virginia, the families of veterans have little voice in the decisions that shape their lives, and when they are left out, bad policy follows. Spouses, caregivers, survivors and dependents are rarely invited into the process or represented when policy is written or debated. When families are invisible, so are the real costs they carry. And when those lived experiences are missing from the conversation, bad decisions inevitably follow.
Virginia is home to over 635,000 veterans, the second-largest veteran population per capita and the nation’s largest group of women veterans. This is not a niche population; it is the civic backbone of our schools, small businesses, neighborhoods and churches. Family well-being directly shapes veteran well-being. Every credible study on suicide prevention and mental health reaches the same conclusion: A strong family connection is protective. When veterans are supported and understood by their families and communities, the risk of suicide falls. When families are isolated, under strain, or left out of the loop, that risk rises.
Despite this evidence, family support remains treated as an afterthought, something nice to have rather than something that saves lives. The few programs that do exist are scattered across agencies, hard to navigate, and often caught in a political tug of war. Families are left to patch together support networks on their own. In some counties there are commissions or staff focused on veterans and family services; in others, there is nothing at all. The result is predictable: Families fall through the cracks and the commonwealth loses trust.
Being veteran-friendly is not a slogan; it is a test of principle. It means creating structures that endure beyond election cycles and budget exercises. It means codifying key programs so that no family relives the uncertainty we saw with VMSDEP. It means ensuring that family members, caregivers and dependents have seats at the table, not as tokens, but as trusted contributors whose experiences shape the policies meant to serve them.
It also means rejecting performance politics that use veterans for optics without real follow-through. The familiar imagery of salutes and ceremonies may tug at heartstrings, but symbolism does not pay the bills and it does not prevent suicide. Real support comes from action, from leadership that treats veteran and family policy as a long-term investment in community stability and civic strength.
As Election Day approaches, Virginians should ask every candidate hard questions and expect substantive answers. Will they protect and codify existing benefits for veterans and families? Will they commit to enshrining family representation on appropriate policymaking and advisory bodies? Will they move past symbolic gestures and deliver policy that matches their rhetoric?
This is not a niche issue; it affects an enormous share of Virginia’s population and workforce. It should never be subject to annual political machination.
And to those who have already led — those who have spoken up, taken action and refused to let veterans and their families become collateral damage — thank you. Your integrity and courage sets the standard others should follow.
If Virginia wants to be the best state for veterans, it must also be the best state for their families.
Virginia’s reputation as a veteran-friendly state will not be defined by slogans or ceremonies. It will be defined by whether those who served, and the families who stood beside them then and now, can count on both gratitude and good governance.
Kayla Owen of Stafford serves on Virginia’s Board of Veterans Services.
