Maury football coach Dyrri McCain wants to be “elite” in everything he does.
“I want to be an elite coach, an elite friend and an elite person,” he said.
In eight seasons, McCain, 36, has led the Commodores to three undefeated state championship seasons (2019, 2023, 2024) and seven consecutive region titles.
Recently, McCain found something else he wants to be elite at: Being a father.
Seven months ago, McCain and his fiancée, Alyssa, welcomed a son, Dyrri McCain Jr.
“The feeling was surreal,” McCain said. “It was nervousness before he was born just because (being a father) is something that I’ve always wanted.
“People have always told me that you don’t know how deep you can love until you have a child. Not that I ever questioned them, but having experienced it, they’re right.”
Now every decision McCain makes, he thinks about his son.
“Just going to Food Lion and not putting my seatbelt on. I have to be careful because I have to come home to him,” he said. “It just makes you more cautious. It puts life into perspective. Now, I have to make sure that I’m available to him and that I’m there for him. So, that’s how I’ve changed.”
Cox High football coach Tyler Noe knows the feeling.
Seven months ago, he and his wife, Lane, welcomed their first child with the arrival of son, Colt.
The second he laid eyes on his son, Noe knew life was going to be different.
“He was the only thing that mattered,” said Noe, as he got choked up.
Noe, 37, remembers last season when the Falcons were about to play Bayside. On most game days, he’s a nervous wreck. But on this day, it was different.
“Before the game, it was the first time that I heard his heart beat,” Noe said. “I told one of my assistant coaches before the game that when I heard that, nothing else mattered. The game didn’t matter. He is the center of my world. He’s definitely changed my whole perspective on life.”
Becoming first-time fathers has been comical, too.
Being a coach, they always try to be prepared or at least try. But being a parent is unpredictable.
Take the time McCain changed his first diaper.
“My body heat, the sweat I had, I was more nervous doing that than I’ve been at a game being down six with 10 seconds left in the state championship game,” McCain said, laughing. “Plus, it was in front of my mom and her mom. It was just so embarrassing. I was thinking, ‘How can you be so elite in everything you do, but you were this bad at changing a diaper?’ They laughed at me when I was doing it, but now I’ve become elite at changing diapers.”
Noe had a different experience that he’ll never forget.
“I was getting ready to go to work, and he projectiled-poop all over my hand,” Noe said, laughing now. “I was just stunned. I couldn’t even get mad, and I just started laughing. I just went and washed my hands. Now, he’s at a stage where he’s grabbing everything while I try to change his diaper. He’s making it difficult, and getting poop and pee everywhere.”
Both coaches are having good seasons.
Maury, the two-time defending state champion, is the top-ranked team in Hampton Roads. The Commodores (7-1) are close to clinching their seventh consecutive Eastern District title.
Cox (6-2) entered the 757Teamz Top 15 poll this week at No. 15 after four consecutive wins, including upsetting then-No. 15 Salem last week.
But both new fathers said this season wouldn’t be possible if it wasn’t for the amazing woman in their lives.
McCain calls Alyssa “phenomenal.”
When she was pregnant, they talked about what it would take for him to be able to coach this season.
“I expressed to her that I still wanted to (coach) at a high level, and asked for her understanding to be able to do that,” he said. “And she has been holding down the fort until the offseason. She’s gone over and beyond for me. She’s allowed me to be an elite coach. I just have to give her all the credit because I wouldn’t be able to still be doing what I’m doing without her. In order for me to be an elite coach, she has been an elite Mom.”
Noe also credited Lane with being “the rock” that has held the family together this season.
“I wouldn’t be coaching without her, first and foremost,” he said. “There’s no way possible that I would be able to coach without her. She is the one who keeps this family going. She’s definitely the real MVP through it all.”
Maury coach Dyrri McCain with his son, Dyrri Jr., and fiancé, Alyssa. (Courtesy photo)
Both coaches remember when they told their staff and players that they were going to be first-time fathers.
For McCain, he told his team the night before the Class 5 state championship game against Briar Woods of Ashburn.
“I told them that I had to tell them something. You could tell their minds were going all over the place, like ‘Is he leaving?’ ” McCain said. “When I told them I was having a son, they all jumped up and were so happy for me. I wanted to tell them at the right time, and I thought the state championship was the right time.”
The Commodores went out the next day and beat Briar Woods 46-0 for the Class 5 title.
For Noe, he said his assistant coaches and players were excited for him, too.
Assistant coach Wayne Wallace said he’s seen a change in Noe.
“He’s a little more compassionate. He understands the kids a little more,” he said. “Another change is before he would sit around the office. Now he wants to go home to see his son. So he’s changed, and changed for the better. He’s doing well with it.”
Cox senior Rex Miller agreed.
“We were all excited and happy for him when he told us,” he said. “And he’s done a great job of balancing of having a kid and still being dedicated to our team and our success. Coming out here every day with the energy he has, it’s impressive. And it means a lot to all of us.”
Noe admits that having a child has changed him in ways that he never thought. He doesn’t get as uptight as he used to.
“Wins and losses are different. Bad practices are different,” he said. “When I go home to see him, and he hears my voice, he’s just got a big smile on his face. And for that moment in time, I forget about everything in the world, except for being with him.”
Maury head coach Dyrri McCain acknowledges his players after a touchdown against Bishop McNamara during a Sept. 12 game. (Billy Schuerman/The Virginian-Pilot)
Being a father has changed McCain, too.
Well, sort of.
Senior linebacker Isaiah “Ike” Simmons said McCain has always treated his players as if they were his sons. Now that he has his own son, he wants to make sure every minute on the field is taken seriously.
“He’s taking time from his own child to coach us,” Simmons said. “We know we’re second, and we know his son is first. Everything before has been about us, so we need to show that appreciation to him for that.”
Has McCain gotten softer as a coach?
“No sir,” Simmons said. “If anything, he’s harder.”
Maury assistant coach Brice Parker agrees. He has known McCain since seventh grade, and he’s the godfather of McCain’s son.
He said he’s definitely seen a difference in his longtime friend since he became a father. But one thing that hasn’t changed is his focus, both on the field and as a father.
“The one thing about him is he prepares in everything he does,” he said. “He’s very meticulous in his preparation. In fact, he prepared for this season during the spring knowing he was going to have a son. So he made sure he was doing his part because he’s never going to lose focus. So being a dad, a coach, a teacher, whatever it is he is doing, he’s going to give it 100%.”
Larry Rubama, 757-575-6449, larry.rubama@pilotonline.com
