DEAR MISS MANNERS: A group of six longtime friends planned a get-together at my house including snacks and games.
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One friend showed up very clearly ill, with a red, runny nose and a pack of tissues, saying, “It’s just a cold! I feel fine.”
Maybe I should have been more sympathetic, but I instead mentioned that I didn’t want to get sick because I had a vacation coming up. I got hand sanitizer and wipes for people to use, and kept my distance.
I did ask this person if they had gotten tested for COVID, and they said no — now that the tests aren’t free, they are actually quite expensive — but they assured me they’d had COVID before and that it “didn’t feel like this.”
Two questions: Do you agree that the common cold should be something that keeps people from socializing, and how can I handle this, should it happen again?
GENTLE READER: 1. Yes.
2. By being more sympathetic. Miss Manners suggests saying firmly, “You’re very brave to come out like this, but we won’t let you sacrifice yourself for us. You need to go home and go to bed until you are well. Do you need someone to take you?”
On their way out, you can add, “Please let us know how you’re doing. We look forward to seeing you when you are over this.”
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a friend who constantly talks about the prices of food, drinks and restaurants.
I wanted to go downtown to a festival, and the first thing she said was that the beers are going to be $8 each. When I ask her about a new restaurant, she tells me the prices of everything and the cheapest way to have dinner there at happy hour. No mention of the food itself.
A lot of her conversations seem to center around how much things cost. It drives all of her conversations.
I guess I was brought up not to talk about the cost of things. Am I wrong to let this bother me?
GENTLE READER: If you were brought up never to talk about the cost of anything, Miss Manners hopes it came with a sizable inheritance.
If your friend keeps asking you how much you paid for your shoes, you would be justified in being annoyed. But being concerned about prices at restaurants — or other commercial transactions under consideration — seems reasonable.
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DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have always sent thank-you notes without fail. My problem is that, now, people contact me via text message to see if I have received the gift they sent me. And since that answer is almost always yes, I feel I must not only acknowledge the gift but also thank them at that time.
So now, I either have to thank them with a short text, instead of the lovely cards I purchased to write sincere notes of gratitude, or thank them twice — which of course is not awful, but seems awkward. I need some guidance, please.
GENTLE READER: Prompt responses will solve this problem. Then you can truthfully say, “Yes, thank you, I’ve already written you.”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
https://www.orlandosentinel.com/2025/09/30/miss-manners-came-to-my-house-sniffling/
