High school softball: Thursday’s Southern Section playoff results and updated pairings
High school softball: Thursday’s Southern Section playoff results and updated pairings
GREG GUTFELD: Can Kamala Harris handle her new position on AI or will she wing it?
Happy Thursday, everyone. It’s official, this is now the best late night show in America, because it’s the only late night show in America. I’ll take it. I don’t care. So today, senior intel officials testified on Capitol Hill on worldwide threats, among the topics, China, Russia, Iran, artificial intelligence, and also Geraldo removing his shirt in front of children. Yeah, AI is now in the same discussion as some of our biggest, most dangerous adversaries. So you think we’d put someone serious in charge of it, right? Someone with gravitas and a piercing intellect, someone who can assure America that everything’s under control. So who’d we pick?
VICE PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS, OCTOBER 25, 2020: What do you want to know?
Yeah, it makes sense. Every time I hear the words artificial intelligence. I think of her. But it’s true. Kamala has been tapped as the administration’s point person on AI. Apparently, to see if artificial intelligence is no match for her natural stupidity. Oh, and by the way, how is she going to help? By sleeping with R2-D2.
ANNOUNCER: A sexist would say!
Terrible, but hey, maybe it’s a genius move to have our most inane human face off with AI. Five minutes with Kam would make a Roomba pull its own plug. Today, she met with CEOs from major companies developing AI, including Google, Microsoft and Anthropic. Which raises the question, what the hell is Anthropic? A subdivision of Hawaiianthropic?
JIMMY FAILLA: That’s funny.
It is funny. So shut up. According to the White House, the meeting was meant to, “underscore this responsibility and emphasize the importance of driving responsible, trustworthy and ethical innovation with safeguards that mitigate risks and potential harms to individuals and our society.” Hell, I need an AI to translate that —- into English. So it’s about short and long term dangers of this technology, meaning will they kill us tomorrow or in ten years. And many Dems and Republicans agree it’s good that we finally, you know, got around to talking about it, but are we really putting our best foot forward when we send this?
KAMALA HARRIS, APRIL 25, 2023: I think it’s very important… For us at every moment in time, and certainly this one, to seize the moment in time in which we exist and are present.
KAMALA HARRIS, MARCH 22, 2023: So during Women’s History Month, we celebrate, and we honor the women who made history throughout history.
KAMALA HARRIS, MARCH 21, 2022: The significance of the passage of time, right? The significance of the passage of time. So when you think about it, there is great significance to the passage of time.
KAMALA HARRIS, JANUARY 13, 2022: It is time for us to do what we have been doing and that time as every day.
They call that a word salad, because every time she speaks, I’m waiting for garlic croutons to fall out of her mouth. I mean, can you imagine how that AI meeting went? All those industry heads would be unplugging their laptops and using the cords to hang themselves. Of course, putting Kam on the AI team is all about her gaining new visibility for the next election, which is like squeegeeing your windshield before driving off a cliff. I mean, we’re talking about Kamala, the human Atari 2600, sitting down with people who’ve developed complex AI technology. They know what powers the machines, and the only thing she’s ever turned on was Willie Brown.
ANNOUNCER: Wow, yet another sexist would say.
Disgusting. Look, none of these politicians know jack about technology. They embarrassed themselves at those hearings about social media, but this is pure just giving up. You think that creature that says this even bothers to read up on anything?
KAMALA HARRIS, JANUARY 12, 2023: I think of this moment as a moment that is about great momentum. Inspired by, yes, optimism, inspired by a crisis, no doubt, but inspired by also our collective ability to see what can be unburdened by what has been.
Quick. Someone get her a glass of Thousand Island. But her ramblings aren’t a sign of stupidity. It’s a sign of arrogance that she feels exempt from preparation or substance. She’ll just wing it on our biggest challenge. The problem is you’ve got to have talent to wing it, you now, or maybe bongos.
VIDEO WITH BONGOS
Never gets old. Now, the White House also said they’re going to spend $140 million to create seven new AI research institutes. Well, here’s a suggestion, please don’t put any in Wuhan and keep them away from this jackass. And the White House Budget Office, which is as useful as a tourism board in Syria, is expected to issue guidance on how federal agencies can use AI tools, meaning they’ll be taught to audit taxpayers and perform abortions. Which brings us back to those other worldwide threats. I mean, what do you think the other world powers are going to do with AI? You know, if China is working on a military angle, here’s what they’re planning.
VIDEO
So what will America get with Kamala in charge?
VIDEO
So yeah, if you weren’t sure we were screwed before. Oh, we’re screwed. But there’s one silver lining. Maybe if AI gains the upper hand, it can replace Kamala and would we even know the difference?
VIDEO
Better than the real thing!
High school boys’ lacrosse: Thursday’s Southern Section playoff results and updated pairings
High school boys’ lacrosse: Thursday’s Southern Section playoff results and updated pairings
US to control land sales to foreigners near 8 military bases
“Accordingly, China’s investments in the U.S. need to be carefully scrutinized, particularly for facilities like the Grand Forks Air Force Base.”
https://nypost.com/2023/05/05/us-to-control-land-sales-to-foreigners-near-8-military-bases/
Mavericks’ Luka Doncic to cover funeral expenses for Belgrade shooting rampage victims
Doncic also previously committed to helping with aid efforts shortly after the mass shooting and vowed to be part of any long-term assistance.
Former NBA executive Lance Blanks dead at 56
Lance Blanks, who played in the NBA for three seasons and later worked as a scout and front office executive, has died, his family announced Thursday.
Klay Thompson puts on show as Warriors destroy Lakers in Game 2
Klay Thompson scored 30 points with eight 3-pointers, and the defending champion Warriors blew out the Lakers 127-100 in Game 2 on Thursday night.
https://nypost.com/2023/05/05/klay-thompson-puts-on-show-as-warriors-rip-lakers-in-game-2/
Lakers can’t beat Warriors if Anthony Davis keeps disappearing like he did in Game 2
Anthony Davis’ disappearing act has become disappointingly routine. He can’t keep doing this if the Lakers want to beat the Warriors.
Naples explodes in joy as Napoli finally regain Serie A crown
The southern Italian city of Naples exploded into what was shaping up to be a long night of celebrations on Thursday as local team Napoli secured their first Serie A soccer title in more than three decades, sweeping away years of disappointment.
Kentucky Derby trainer suspended after 2 horses mysteriously die at Churchill Downs
Veteran horse trainer Saffie Joseph Jr. was suspended indefinitely from Churchill Downs Thursday after two of his horses suddenly died within days of each other. Joseph Jr., 36, is prohibited from entering his horses in races and applying for stall occupancy at all Churchill Downs Incorporated racetracks under the punishment, the company announced. “Given the…